I can see some of you nodding your head in agreement and thinking, Finally, Larry is going to admit that he’s crazy; it’s about time.
Well, hold that thought.
Certainly, my mental state could be a future post, but in this case, I’m referring to different nuts … and don’t jump to the conclusion that I’m talking about politicians.
Here’s the subject.
I’m sure you’ve been in a restaurant (or bar) and you see bowls of nuts, maybe candy mints.
Do you eat out of those bowls?
I mean do you grab some nuts from the bowl and pop them in your mouth?
Did you see the guy who was there just before you … who did the same thing?
Guys, you know how many men come and go from a restroom and never stop by the sink to wash their hands. Women, I’m sure you have your own stories.
The point is … you never know who was scooping up some of those nuts before you came along, and you certainly don’t know if their hands were clean.
The more I think about it … maybe this post should involve nutty politicians.
So many of them are involved in the nitty gritty of our lives … supposedly protecting us because obviously, we aren’t smart enough to do it ourselves.
Some dictate the size of the soda you can buy; some dictate what kind of food you can pack for your child’s school lunch.
These same politicians are telling you what kind of light bulb you can use, what kind of toilet you can have in your house.
They are always prying into our personal, family and business lives … all in the name of protecting us.
So why the heck are they ignoring open bowls of nuts and candies???
I mean, this concern has bacteria written all over it.
We don’t need some farmhand picking lettuce to get us all sick.
Where is our Nanny Government?
It is clear that many can’t resist grabbing some of those nuts.
Something has to be done.
Before terrorists see this opportunity.
So, if those over-protective politicians see this post and start reacting … the next time, you want to grab some of those nuts, you might have an NSA Agent …the Nuts Security Agent (not that other NSA) standing by with one of those blue lights you see in CSI tv shows. This NSA Agent will shine the light on your hands to verify they are clean before you can dip into the nuts.
(And what about chips … and … and … double dipping salsa?)
Yes, I’m thinking Nanny Government might declare that open containers of nuts are a threat to national security, and pass a bill making it a felony for businesses/bars violating the law … punishable by fines and hard jail time.
Or … or …
You could just decide … you aren’t taking any nuts from that open container.
Years ago, I was at a fancy country club, and there was a big bowl of those small, multi-colored hard-shell mints in the lobby. Very inviting, but you didn’t have to use your hands. There was a silver spoon in a little dish next to the bowl of candy.
I watched a girl about 5 or 6 go over to the bowl.
Just as the little girl put some mints in her mouth, her mother spotted her and screamed, Don’t do that!
The little girl looked at her mother in surprise.
She slowly took the spoon … out of her mouth.
“But Moma, I didn’t use my hands; I used the spoon.”